Everything I Do Is Wrong

Have you ever thought that every move you take, every choice you make, every action you do, is just...wrong? Even when the time you do it, when you do it, seems perfectly right, perfectly normal, perfectly a good choice.

I, myself, hate that feeling. One of the biggest reasons being the very fact that I hate being known as doing something wrong. I don't like it when people correct me even when I KNOW that I'm wrong.

My friends end up looking at me as if I did something fatal (as I'm known to be doing everything right, the perfect daughter, the perfect student, the perfect friend). But all I ever did was make a mistake. I'm human. Just because I do well at school, seemingly do well with my family and earn the trust of my friends, it does not necessarily mean that I do not make mistakes.

Humans are all about mistakes. It is how we grow, how we learn, how we become who we are as an adult. I don't want to be someone that makes no mistakes. Because then how do I learn? How do I mature? How do I change my way of thinking? How do I become who I will be when I grow up?


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To the people who think that every step I make is wrong, every judgement I make is wrong, this is what I have to say to you, and to you only: I am who I am. Accept me or ignore me.

I don't want a friend who only cares about the good part of me. I don't want a friend that doesn't accept who I really am and expects me to become someone that will only be who they want to be.
I don't want a family member that is always saying my faults and ignoring my good deeds. I don't want a family member that is ignorant of my success.

To the people who put me down and smirk behind my back, thinking that I can't do anything, this is my message to you, and to you only: The two words and three phrases, "I know", "I can", "I will" are in the top of my dictionary. Nothing you can ever say, ever do, can make me change that. Once again, I am only human and every human, including you makes mistakes.

Being Ridiculed, Teased, Bullied

Everyone's had the time when they are bullied, when they are getting called names. It happens to everyone and there isn't anything that we can do about it. We can campaign to schools to tell them to do an anti-bullying regime but hey, who listens to kids right? No one that's who.

Who does he/she think they are to call you names?

He/she is no one that's who.

When I was young, I was bullied senseless. I was called, ugly, bitch, slut, idiot...almost every name imaginable. I cried every time I was getting called that. I was young, only 8 or 9 no less. But as I grew up, I began to understand that getting bullied at a young age is NORMAL and I began to accept it instead of fighting against it.

Every time I was called a name, instead of giving that person I negative response like most people would I would go "really? thanksss =)" and then forget about within a minute when I find something to do. That simple.

Because I've accepted the challenges that life throws at me and I've decided to look at them all being positive rather than negative.

But, there is always this once in a while person that breaks those thoughts and makes you feel like your shit (and your not).

He/She comes out as gentle at first, a good friend, someone that will listen to whatever you say and give you the best advice and as you trust them more and more, everything suddenly becomes great: until the day they turn their back on you and sneer and spit at your face (not literally of course, figuratively speaking). They suddenly become the worlds first A-Class jackass that will torment you with the secrets you told them and you'll suddenly want to wish that you never met that person, you never trusted he/she and you never actually believed that this could be happening.

By that time, nothing you can say to yourself matters. Nothing. Because suddenly, the whole world just collapsed, disappeared and concaved into itself and you have no more support on your shoulders to hold it up.

All your insecurities will flood out of your mind and begin to revolve around your eyes, ears and head. Those insecurities that took you so long, just to tell them to behave came out just like that: 1, 2 ,3.

That, above, is exactly what I just experienced last night. I don't want to say what this person said to me and I don't want to tell anyone how I reacted. I just thought that you should all know (despite not having one active reader yet) and that some experiences should always be shared with others to prevent people from making the same mistakes.

I make mistakes all the time. But this one, was by far the worst mistake I've ever made and the worst mistake I will ever make again.