Stupid Stress

I'm so sick of being stressed.

When I was in Australia, I was never stressed! I mean, yeah, sure, I guess when I was taking my half yearly and yearly exams I was stressed but that never lasted for more than an hour! The stress I'm feeling now is...ridiculous.

All my friends are at school, having fun, enjoying being a teenager but I'm stuck with making good grades, doing extra curricular activities, service learning hours and studying for the SAT's.

I'm no superwoman.

I need my time of rest, my time to do whatever I want.

My parents say that they understand me and what I want but all they care about is that I get into a good college. Sure, a good college will be a lifetime of benefits for me and I agree that I should be studying for the SAT's.

But have they ever stopped to consider that maybe, just maybe, I'm old enough to make my own decisions?! I know when I have to study, what I have to study for.

So if they just SHUT THE HELL up for one BRIEF SECOND than maybe, just maybe, they'll see the side of me actually studying.

No one studies willingly after their parents have non-stop talked to them about them being worried, making them studying, giving them a huge stack of SAT prep books and then confiscate their laptop and phone.

Facebook...or should I say, my laptop is the only thing that keeps me sane every single day I return home after school. It's my life line. And now they're taking it away from me?

Sorry, unless you want me to perish, NOT A GOOD IDEA.

Half an hour of lunch isn't enough for me every day Mum, Dad.

LEARN TO SEE MY POINT OF VIEW PLEASE.

I'm sick of being stressed. And do you know what the most stupid thing about today is? I want to CRY. I WANT TO FU*KING CRY. But nothing.

Not one drop.

Probably because I had cried so much this weekend that I have no more tears left. But for once, I wish I could cry. Because when the tears come out, it makes my life suddenly a whole lot easier and brighter.

I'm so tired...everyday of every second and there will never be anyone that will tell me that their there for me and will watch out for me when I fall down, asleep.

Why isn't there a person like that...?

I'm straying off topic.

I hate stress.

It's the worst thing in the world.

Who agrees with me?

Pressure for Life . . .

Everyone gets pressured by their parents. It's normal and it's always happening.

Pressure can lead to tension and can lead to fights and arguments and even to a cold war.

I for one, absolutely hate pressure. It kills my confidence, my mood at the time and almost everything else.

"S, you need to stop focusing your mind on the internet, your phone and your iPod. You need to start focusing on studying, making friends, gaining connections and practicing your PSAT/SAT/ACT's."

BULL. SHIT.

So I know I need to focus on studying.

And I do.

So I know I need to focus on making friends.

And I do.

So I know I need to focus on gaining connections.

And I DON'T. <<< I don't want to use others just so I can succeed in my life. I don't want to go through the back door like how other people are willing to. I don't want to be bitched behind the back as the girl that took the easy way. So my parents (Asians at that also) are like that. I'm NOT. And I don't WANT to be like that. They can't force me into using people I call my friends as connections. It's NOT going to happen.

So I focus on practicing my SAT's or whatever.

And I WILL.

I know my priorities and I know how to set them straight. Why the hell do I need my parents to do it for me?! I live my life and they can live theirs. Sure, their the ones that gave me my life but after awhile, you HAVE to stop using that same argument over, and over again! It's getting OLD mum. Chill OUT.

I can have fun and study at the same time. I can have a boyfriend and keep up my grades at the same time. I can hang out with my friends and be able to get all my homework done. I can do it all. I can multitask.

So watch me.

Watch me do it and watch me prove to you that you can stop being so hard-core on your daughter and CHILL OUT while I get into the school of my dreams and while I get my college diploma and while I get the job of my dreams, while I get a good and strong husband. Watch it all mum and please, watch it from the side lines...FOR ONCE.